Alone in the Crowd

A recent AP story, "Lonely Nation," reports that 1/4 of American households consist of just one person and that about 25 percent of Americans report having no one they can confide in. The article goes on to list a variety of other statistics on loneliness and interviews some experts about why this might be. Why in a country with a bulging population, huge urban areas, convenient communications technology only inches away from the average person, are we so darned lonely?

There's lot's of good arguments given, including the fast food mentality of our culture that we also apply to relationships. Really, if I can't make a friend in the time it takes to order a happy meal, why bother? But a bigger problem may be an aversion to risk. This can be seen most simply in the plethora of attempts to protect our physical safety by putting giant warning stickers on everything and barricading us in from anything that might be more dangerous than a high curb. Watch that step! But it is perhaps most dangerous in relationship building. Relationships require risk. In the article, a college counselor asserts, "All the students I work with have incredibly many pseudo-intimate relationships online -- but without the kind of risk and vulnerability that goes with sitting across a cafe booth from another person."

I did spend a part of my life being shy - afraid to approach new relationships - but I consider myself to be recovering quite well. I invited 47 people to my birthday party this weekend. Now, all 47 aren't best friends, but maybe if we spend some time together we will be. Maybe some new friendship among them might even be kicked off this weekend. About 1 1/2 years ago, I went to a party at a friend's house and re-met an old acquaintance. We became very close friends and she eventually introduced me to her friend who is now my girlfriend. Maybe we all just need to get out more, and remember that these things take time.